"CINDYTALK", Permission Issue 9, 1997
H. Twinkie
edited by John Michael

CONVERSE TENNIS SHOES OR HIGH-HEELED BLACK BOOTS? THE CONVERSE GO BETTER WITH GORDON SHARP'S SATINY PINKY FLOWERED SKIRT AND LITTLE PINK SEE-THROUGH NIGHTIE WORN AS A SHIRT. THIS IS THE FIRST OF MANY VERSIONS OF "CINDY" I WILL SEE TONIGHT.

Gordon is probably most well known as the voice on This Mortal Coil's "Kangaroo" from the 4AD project's first release It'll End In Tears. But on this occasion Gordon is performing with his band CINdYTALK. He is often mistaken for being female (his dress and his vocals), and mislabeled as being a goth (involvement with TMC). After a recent CINdYTALK performance, Gordon described a "fan's" amusing reaction, "They were offended by the pink. They were saying, 'Do you realize what kind of icon "Kangaroo" is? Do you realize that we are upset at you, I mean you're not wearing gothic clothes!!' I said I'm not a goth. They then commented, 'You look more like a raver.' And I retorted: I am a raver. I'm sort of a punky raver."

Gordon was born in Scotland, but made London his home in 1982. He was deprived of music as a child and only became aware of particular artists when he was in his early teens. Roxy Music was a first love. When Gordon was about thirteen years old, some friends asked if he wanted to lip-synch a few songs at a Christmas party. He ended up as the singer, which he felt fit him quite well. This early "pretend" performance experience eventually led Gordon to form his first band.

When Gordon was about fifteen he formed a punk band called The Freeze. "I just volunteered to hold the microphone and shout in it, for a number of years." The Freeze lasted from 1976 until 1981, when he decided that he wanted to explore music that was "darker and more noisy." Gordon had also discovered that he could actually sing rather than merely shout. This musical direction laid the groundwork, and CINdYTALK was formed in 1982.

Their 1984 debut, Camouflage Heart on Midnight Music, could be described as fairly dark, dissonant, and obtrusive. In 1988 they would release their second/third albums(s), both titled In This World. The two LPs were released on the same day with the same title and very similar cover art, but only a discerning eye would notice both albums had two different track listings and catalog numbers. Each album had its own tone as well. The first being mostly noisy and dirty feeling (in a good way) while the second being an instrumental, sans the title track, with primarily piano and sometimes laced with a bit of feedback and an occasional "clang" or two. Later that year, Midnight Music combined the two In This World LPs into one CD and also re-issued Camouflage Heart on CD. In 1990 CINdYTALK recorded a soundtrack for the film Eclipse, which was released as The Wind Is Strong.... The Wind... paints a natural soundscape of birds, water, and of course, wind with bits of piano similar to the second ITW album. The Secrets & Falling EP (1991) reflects back to the style of Camouflage Heart with more distinct bass, drum, and guitar parts and Gordon's vocals shimmering above it all.

After the collapse of Midnight Music, Gordon founded Touched Recordings, which in 1994 produced CINdYTALK's 7" Prince of Lies/Muster, Wappinschaw LP/CD, and then re-released In This World on CD with new cover art in 1995. Wappinschaw is a full-length release containing material from early '90s CINdYTALK recordings that are "cleaner" sounding than Camouflage or ITW that let Gordon's lyrics stand out. His lyrics are direct and harsh in dealing with ambiguities. The lyrics from "Muster" (the "hidden" track on the CD) tell the tale: "when i close my eyes i see dancer alchemist and warrior. always female amidst strip-tease." CINdYTALK expresses how Gordon is Cindy, always, a strip-tease dancer who will shed an item of clothing for every question asked of her.

The notion of being female in a male body applies to Gordon outside of any stereotype of drag queen or cross dresser. Perhaps this transgender ability was somewhat derived through Gordon's appreciation of glam. Although in regards to the theater element of glam, he is uncomfortable when those who witness a CINdYTALK performance describe it as theatrical. Gordon is aware of the audience and wants to create a connection for the purpose of involvement. "If they become involved then they care more and the final performance is heightened because it is not just the band OR the audience but more a communion of sorts."

The humanist in Gordon transforms Cindy into a post-modern nun. Gordon wants to be a "shaved-pussy riot grrrl" when he grows up. When asked this question he replied that it was a toss up between the "shaved-pussy riot grrrl" and a "shaved- pussy surfer chick." If Gordon could have this own parade, "Okay, this is my parade? I could put anything in it? I could choose everybody in it? I would be rooting through all your dress shops and lingerie shops. It would be a ploy for me to go and raid those shops. I love parades, I'd be up in the window with my gun picking people off." Gordon smiles with a mischievous grin, reflecting CINdYTALK in its half improvised, half structured format.

Gordon has as healthy attitude of what is a very multifaceted personality. Are you a child or an adult? "I am both. I think I have managed to retain ways of a child through some quirk of fate. I'm still surprised when that happens to me. I refuse to be cynical. I'm on a mission not to be cynical, but I think its possible to refuse cynicism yet still be skeptical and wary, not be jaded, just cautious. I give everybody and every situation the benefit of the doubt. If it hits me badly or harshly, I'm not going to be destroyed by that, I'm used to taking changes. I'm quite rooted, I feel. I developed it when I was much younger. I got to know myself quite well early on because I have always been a loner. I think that it is important to know yourself before you deal with the rest of the world in any kind of major way."

Drum & bass, gabber, and techno tapes are currently what can be found in Gordon's luggage bag. He talked about PCP and EC8OR from Frankfurt, Loop from Vienna, Network 23 (a nomadic label traveling through Europe and America), Drop Bass Network, and Praxis and Zero Tolerance labels of London. Gordon decribes the process of CINdYTALK's incorporation of these dance fields, "We have not immediately thrown away our past to become techno. We are inspired by it, so we use it naturally. We were really into this long before we ever did much live stuff. The reason for that is because of respect for the music. It's just that I wouldn't see something and charge right in and say I can do that too." Gordon has effectively enabled himself to experiment by starting to do side projects. Bambule is Gordon's alter-techno ego which features Gordon and Cunning, a previous member of CINdYTALK and will be released in London as Cunning Meets Bambule on Praxis Records.

Gordon has dropped all the former members of CINdYTALK due to his frustration with the US tour this year, "I especially suffered from being in a band full of men. I think because of that I might have lost a bit of fire or impetus. I'm not really a hang-out type of person. It was a wonderful experience though. It was kind of self-destructive at the end, which is kind of good in a way, because then it forced me to do other things. This whole trip is for finding out the parameters of the new CINdYTALK album; I really want to bring out a new album. It's a follow up to the Wappinschaw album. Provisionally, the new one is entitled Pussy Envy. I'm going to go further inside that gender and sexuality thing which was on the tour. A lot of raw sexuality stuff I had on the last one, I think to myself, saying did I say that?"

For the future, Gordon's philosophy on music and noise are sure to provide a solid background for numerous and incredible releases. "I think noise is music. I have always felt that you can walk down the street and hear sounds like a car screeching and there is music in that. There is melody in everything. What we do is we play with noise and we try to make melody out of noise. Everything has an inherent sense of melody. Also again if you make music which presents the ideas very clearly, then the audience hasn't got much to do. If you take the sound from the Underground and play with it and even be mischievous with it then people have to come inside. And once they come inside it's more fun for them."

Talking with Cindy is like being with the kind of girlfriend one could go sit on the top of a mountain with, talking girl talk for hours while wearing fluffy pink ball gowns. And if someone taped the whole thing, they would have enough material to start a new world religion, redefining notions of gender, sexuality and philosophy. Prince might even drop in as a high priest. Gordon tells the story of offending Prince's hometown, Minneapolis, when CINdYTALK performed "Dirty Beautiful Dirty." "The DJ told me, 'I don't think people in Minneapolis can cope with all this' and I said 'fuck this, Prince comes from Minneapolis doesn't he?' and then he says 'Oh, well Prince is Prince.' It was almost like he did not want to deal with it, but you have to deal with it. People should be less afraid of their sexuality."

Laying on the bed, having changed into a long black vinyl dress with black boots, Gordon is his principles in the flesh. I smile, having been too lazy to change into my long black dress, wishing Cindy success in the same way she described her favorite color, "Burning, Bright, Beautiful, Beckoning."

Reprinted without permission.